I am sorry to hear things have gotten worse with your family. I have been following your journey since you came on but I haven't been on much lately so I need to catch up with your situation. Most of us understand what you are going through and it takes a lot of courrage to stand up for what is the truth and to say no to a distructive cult. Hang in there. You are young and have so much going for you. I know it hurts to lose most of the people you love. It sure is an up and down adventure that is for sure!
Aunt Fancy
JoinedPosts by Aunt Fancy
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27
One mom, half a dad, and at least three friends lost... But at least 4 lives "saved" from WT mind control... 400 to go
by ILoveTTATT inso... i have just posted a link to freedom of mind and the bite model on fb.... .
i am gonna take a snapshot of the # of friends on fb and the ones i have after i tell people privately that i don't want to be a jw anymore..
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19
Gum Chewing....Allowed in your hall or not?
by LostGeneration inso when i attended, this was never an issue - its been five years since i was booted.
a bit before i woke up, a couple visiting us (middle america) from the deep south basically told me this never, ever was allowed in their hall.
no 'priveleges' for a guy who chewed gum.
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Aunt Fancy
I remember over the years different articles would come out especially around the DC or they would let us know in the announcements not to chew gum. For awhile no one would chew gum and then gradually it would start up again until the next announcement.
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51
Was There ANYTHING The Watchtower Taught You That Benefited You?
by minimus inbesides learning how to speak publicly, has the watchtower given you any benefits?
?.
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Aunt Fancy
I was not brought up in the religion so my parents taught me to be honest, to work hard and every other good quality I have. The only thing I received was years of heartache but I learned what to watch out for and to listen to my instincts. I regret every minute I spent in the cult.
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Suicide - How many do you know within the JWs
by Lady Lee inthw wts likes to play games with their statistics.
one interesting but truly tragic is the number of jwhovah's witnesses who commit suicie.. now i suspect that if a person commits suicide shortly before or after they are disfellowshipped then the elders would say that person wasn't a witness or that they had done something so terrible that they were too guilty to admit it and by their action of committing suicide they pretty much declared they were no longer a jw.. yup fancy talk to make sure any crap didn't fall on them.. so my question.. do you know of cases like this?
if so then can you answer a few more questions.. had this person been dfed or in real danger of being dfed or whatever the equivalent is if they were never baptized?.
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Aunt Fancy
I knew of six.
A teen who had an eating disorder and nearly died of it eventually committed suicide.
An elders wife who just had a family part on the CA the week before and I talked with her a couple of days before took a knife and killed herself.
A friend of ours her father killed himself.
A local elder who was in Bethel for years jumped off of a high bridge, they found his body months later.
A young brother drove off the road into a pond and couldn't swim.
My husbands ex brother in law committed a very slow suicide by drinking himself to death in his mid 40's. He was so bad they found him in a basement on an old mattress dead.
I suffered from depression and it started a year after I was baptized. It got very bad and I did seek help from a professional. Right before I woke up I thought about ending it many times but for me the love I have for my family always stopped me. I would go through the thoughts but then I would think about how much I love my family and what it would do to them and I couldn't put them through it so I am thankful I was able to stop it. I became such a recluse and I wouldn't leave our master bedroom sitting room for weeks at a time. My husband was scared for me and we found a wonderful therapist that helped us get stronger and we finally saw that the religion was the problem. I have been off meds for two years now and I never even go there now. I will have a down day very rarely now which is just part of life but nothing like what I felt before.
Right before I woke up I went to the elders thinking I could get help but that was a huge mistake. I had never trusted them the entire 30 years I was in but for some reason I gave them a chance and they failed miserably. I understand now why they did, we expect uneducated men to understand mental illness and they have no training or a clue how to deal with mental illness. When my husband was an elder he would let them talk about their feelings but he always instructed them to seek professional help. I know that wasn't a popular recommendation from the WTS but he knew they needed more help and he wasn't qualified to give more than a listening ear, being kind and loving to them.
Some of these experiences many of you have suffered are heartbreaking. Sending you a big hug!
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What's The Worst Scandal You Know Regarding Jehovah's Witnesses?
by minimus in.....whether it be in the congregation or from "headquarters"?
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Aunt Fancy
We had a couple we loved to travel with I will call Ron & Jen they in turn had a couple they hung with i will call Dan & Tammy. We did not care for Dan & Tammy because Dan screwed people when he did work for them and he was just a creep. Well Jen kept talking about Dan and I told her she needed to be careful and one night Ron came over to let us know that they were getting a divorce because Jen had an afair with Dan. Jen & Dan got married and DF'd and shortly after Ron and Tammy got married but neither of them were DF's. It was a huge scandle in this area. Jen & Dan were reinstated and he is now a MS which I don't get because he is still screwing his clients in business and he hasn't paid income taxes in 30 years! The funny thing is Ron & Tammy got a divorce and they each bought a home then turned around and got married to each other again!! Crazy!
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Should I Tell a Witness that I Am an Apostate?
by Band on the Run ini sometimes join discussion groups.
the witnesses do get mentioned.
i try to make it humorous but some bitterness seeps through.
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Aunt Fancy
I wouldn't say anything at this point. You don't owe her a thing and you will probably never meet her. It isn't like you are trying to mislead her. It is her problem whether she "associates" with an "apostate". That is one of the reasons why the WT discourages their members from going to discussion groups because you never know who is behind the screen. The only way I would ever bring it up would be to try to help her if you felt the need to or saw she was really struggling.
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How did you tell your spouse you want out of the JW religion?
by leaving_quietly inwhat did you imagine would happen?
did they react the way you expected?
how did you bring it up?.
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Aunt Fancy
We came out together but I was the one who started researching first. My hubby was a born in for almost 58 years with grandparents that were in the religion in the early 1900's and I came in in my late 20's spending 30 years in. He was an elder for many years but stepped down because he didn't like some of the things that were going on.
I ended up getting very sick which most of it was because of the stress of the religion and so I missed meetings. I wanted to quit years ago but I didn't know how to get away from it because I knew I would lose all of my friends. (Not one of my family or extended family is in, that goodness). Finally I had missed so many meetings and I noticed I felt better when I was away and when I went to the KH I had panic attacks. During the last year we were in we started seeing a therapist together and she helped me get the courage to do what was right for me.
I read a couple of ex JW books and went to some meetings but I would tell my husband things I was so angry about. In our relationship I tell him everything about how I feel and if I am angry with him I tell him. I do not sugar coat things or hid things from him. If I feel something is not right at the meetings I would tell him and I would call those brothers on the carpet to him. I came from a very long line of strong woman and both parents were college educated.
we went to the DC 7/12 and the first day we left 2 hours early and never went back we were so disgusted by the talk telling us to listen to the elders and do what they say. When we got in we angry and we never went back to the rest of the convention. i started reading COC and I would read him things from it and at first her would give the canned JW answer and that would piss me off and finally I told him "that is exactly what this book said you would say to me. He said let me read the book when you are done with it. He started reading and it was in no time before he was out himself. we both read everything we could get out hands on. He willing cam out but AI know he was ready and he saw too much injustice and was do e with it.
it has been a roller coaster ride but My family has bee wonderful to us and we are slowing making new friends and we are getting involved in things and meeting new friends. I ask my hubby why he listened to me when I told him the info I uncovered and he said because he loves and respects me too much.
Our marriage, health and a number of other things have never been this good in 33 years of being together.
I think you have everything to gain if get the courage to tell your spouse. I later asked him why he listened to me and he said because I respect you.
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Were you 'alive in '75' and how was that year for you?
by punkofnice ini was a junior borgite in 1975. i remeber looking at the calendar at work in october and thinking: 'armageddon isn't here yet.....and it doesn't feel like it will be here anytime soon either!'.
i was surprised that jehovah hadn't obeyed the superior command to bring the big 'a' as instructed to him by fred franz.
how dare god disobey the jw leader!!!!!.
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Aunt Fancy
I was not in at that time but my husband was 21 and I asked him about it because he had never talked about it until a few months ago. He had his great grandparents and parents that were JW's and I am not sure why but his family never made a big deal out of 1975. It could be because they heard them give earlier dates and they never happened. He was young married, a MS, working hard, buying a house, starting a business so maybe he was just so involved in making things work in his life.
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Should I allow my mom to see the grandchildren?
by confusedandalone inso i am not officially da/do yet and my family has shunned me hard.
today crying my mother calls me to beg to see my children... should i let her?
i feel that if you can speak abusive of your own son and wife and shun the.
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Aunt Fancy
I don't know how old your children are but in our case my son never got baptized and his wife was not a JW. We would get the kids over night and we would take them bowling, miniture golf, and do all kids of baking and fun things. We had a blast with them until one day things changed. My husband would read to the two young grandchildren out of the My book of Bible Stories and my grandson told him "Poppy, my Mom doesn't want you to read us any religion at all". My husband stopped and we continued on to have a wonderful relationship with them Never to bring it up again and now we are both out enjoying the holidays with them. We loved our son, daughter in law and two grandchildren enough and respected that they were their children and they had the right to raise them how they chose to.
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Should I allow my mom to see the grandchildren?
by confusedandalone inso i am not officially da/do yet and my family has shunned me hard.
today crying my mother calls me to beg to see my children... should i let her?
i feel that if you can speak abusive of your own son and wife and shun the.
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Aunt Fancy
Excellent advice given. After what your mom, dad and brother did to try to get you DF'd I would be very careful letting them have visits. I have heard of many cases where another relative turned the children against the non JW parents. I would only allow a visit if it were supervised. Also teach your children about the harmful cult that way if they are ever in a position where your family talks to them about their beliefs they will be prepared and can resist it.